i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
