dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
