Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
