Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
