hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
