I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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