I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
