Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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