um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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