If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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