people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
