We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
