don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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