Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
