I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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