He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
