Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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