you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
