whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
