Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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