the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
