Ambien. No doubt about it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
BRING THE BAGELS
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
