if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize