So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize