Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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