I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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