i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
