farters have to be the big spoon...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize