I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Randomize
