What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
