You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My vagina just clenched in fear
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
