i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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