I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
