It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I think i got beer on your cat.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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