My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
