Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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