I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize