mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
