You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
