His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
