shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
