Whod you bang
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
