I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So much rum. So many feels.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
