He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Come see our sink grown plant.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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