i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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