grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
