Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
