apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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