Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
