Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
