If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
