Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
