he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
