I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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