i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize