Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
