physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
