I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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