Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
