I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
