She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
