i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
