why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
