You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
