atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
