I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
