Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My liver just had a heart attack.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
