She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
